Monday, September 29, 2008

The countdown!

Because I realized that today was the second-to-last-day of September. Which means that it will be October. Which means that Halloween is around the corner. And since Halloween is and always has been one of my favorite Holidays, you get to see this adorable layout until then. Or maybe I'll change it to an equally-adorable Halloween-themed layout.
I feel like going costume-hunting for Jaxon...
[NEW NEW NEW!!! Halloween music too, because a girl can't live on IZ and JS alone]

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Goodbyes... and Hellos

We left Hawaii yesterday afternoon and arrived in Phoenix at midnight. Barely. Remember 12 days ago when I blogged in such a light-hearted tone about making it to Hawaii, and nobody threatened to throw Jaxon from an emergency exit?
Ooooohhhhh... how naive I was.
We took our seats on the plane, Jaxon sat on my lap and proceeded to gabble on about the plane, the purple truck, the turtle (turtle?), "Knuckles, plane!" *THUNK*, "Muahses, plane!" *Smooch*
And once again, Preston and I were giving eachother surreptitous "knuckes" and waggly eyebrows and the whole congratulatory nine-yards (see previous posts about how this always backfires).
And then we took off.
And then... the screaming.
And the kicking.
And the clawing.
And the two-year-old back-bend/shimmy of doom.
About an hour later, Preston had taken Jaxon to the back of the plane where he was thrown from an emergency exit for reals where he found solace in the quiet and confining area of the restroom. And peace came over the entire jet.

And for the next few hours, he sat on our laps and looked out the window and I absolutely lied to that child and told him there were butterflies! And George! (Grandpa's cat) And Hendrix! outside the plane window. And he gave them knuckles and muahses and Preston and I once again gave eachother waggly eyebrows of congratulations. Parents of the year award? In the bag, baby.

Once again, may I direct your attention to how this always backfires.

We began our descent, which happened to unfortunately coincide with Jaxon finally conking out, chin balanced on the edge of the airplane window mid-muahses...
And then... the screaming.
And the kicking.
And the clawing.
And the two-year-old back-bend/shimmy of doom.

And by the time we got off that plane, I had devolped several nervous ticks, and I tried to monitor the vein in Preston's forehead in case it exploded.

And then we drove home and all went to sleep. The end.
[Preston says I'm in denial about that last part, but I don't want to remember the rest].


And, as promised much earlier in the week, Vanessa did indeed have a baby.
Yep, sure did--I wasn't lying, because I know there are a few of you out there that thought maybe I was.
What? You demand proof?

Cue the Proud Auntie Pictures!

Adrian Phillip Ruiz said "Hello Mom and Dad" yesterday evening at 8:54 PM (North Carolina time), weighing in at 9 pounds, .4 ounces and 22 inches long. His Daddy reports he has hair, but all I can see is a hat. And I can report that he sounds adorable. Cuteness rating on a scale of 1-10? About a freakin gazillion! This Auntie is thinking about moving to North Carolina for the winter!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

HR hearts JS

Okay, so if you're here--and if, by reading my last post, you have decided to go ahead and turn up the volume on your computer... you will notice that after my boy IZ finishes, there are a few (9!) new tracks to enjoy. Please, please--sample (waaaaay down at the bottom of my blog, go ahead--scroll down, it's a purple box. Got it? Good). Turn it up. It will be good for your soul.
My buddy Colin posted a video yesterday of one Jake Shimabukuro playing "While my guitar gently weeps" (which should be the second track).
And. I. Am. Speechless.
He's playing a freakin ukelele, folks! (Colin, you must be an evil genius, what with me being in the throes of a full-fledged ukelele obsession).
I heart JS, maybe just maybe almost as much as I heart IZ, but not quite?
And now I want that ukelele, STAT. I want to be this awesome.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Paradise FOUND

Last Thursday, I posted about a little local band we had the opportunity to listen to in Pakele Lounge here at the Ala Moana. Remember how I promised to track them down, where tracking means practically stalking?
Pacific Blu, I was searching for "Pacific Blues"--a gigantic "Mahalo" to the gentleman in B&N who knew exactly where to find their latest CD, Identity--the last one, which we purchased and have since enjoyed a few times over.
Its a pretty amazing CD, but I have to say here that I'm still loyal to my "IZ" [RIP]--he retains the "Heather's favorite Hawaiian" prize, and probably will forever. My heart belongs to you, IZ! (He's the gentleman that you're probably listening to right now, if you have the sound turned up on your computer--and if you don't... for shame).
All this Hawiian music has inspired Preston to try to pick up the Ukelele, and I think I would love to try it as well. I'll see how Preston does (he'll probably take to it like a duck to water, being an accomplished guitar player who can play just about anything by ear after a few minutes of plucking at strings).

Oh! And everyone stay close, Bryan and Vanessa are expecting the arrival of Mr. Adrian very soon, she went in this morning to be induced. I will post "proud Aunite" pics as soon as I get them in my hot little hands. We can't wait to see him, and I'm already having dreams of holding the kid. Good luck to Vanessa today, and lots of warm thoughts their way.

That concludes this morning's post.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

A tour with Maria

Another of Preston's coworkers, Maria, was kind enough to pick us up and show us around Oahu to see some sights off the tourist trail. She provided bottled water, an air-conditioned vehicle, a lot of local knowledge, a ton of fun and some delicious local "candy apple" bananas for the road.

Mahalo, Auntie Maria!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

...also, the beach!

Belated Fuzzy Slipper Friday, and a slideshow!

Without the fuzzy, slippers or Friday. Well, maybe a bit fuzzy.

Preston's co-worker, Leah, was kind enough to book a tour of Oahu for us--for free. Mahalo, Leah!

Enjoy a slideshow of our day:

Sunrise over Honolulu

Preston was brave enough to set his notebook outside on the lanai for a few hours this morning for the following time-lapse shot:

Frog Leap

And one more before bedtime, Jaxon's on a roll today.

I was just finishing up my last post when I was summoned to the bathroom by Preston.

"Heather, you're gonna want to see this. Bring your camera."

Oh he knows me so well by now, he can totally spot blog fodder.

BTW, Jaxon just wiped a booger on him. And he's threatening to wipe it on me for saying so.


A conversation between Mr. Jaxon and I this afternoon, after he bonked his elbow. Its dark in the hotel room because he's supposed to be taking a nap.

Friday, September 19, 2008

One long night

Oh, its beautiful here. The weather is beautiful, the scenery is beautiful, even the gosh darn people are beautiful.
And then we bring our son with his two-year-old attitude here. He's made it virtually impossible to go out to dinner without a spectacle (we've avoided restaurants thus far, being within walking distance of The Ala Moana shopping center, and taking advantage of the excellent food court). Jaxon has been far from impressed, and usually lets everyone within a 10-mile radius know all about how unfair his parents are for bringing him to Hawaii in the first place. We mostly get pitying stares (the beautiful people are so understanding!).
And then, last night... inspiration. We hit McDonalds first, grabbed some of Jax's favorite nuggets, and let him eat on the way to the food court. He nibbled, he didn't make a squeak--Preston and I were giving each other high-fives and waggly eyebrows and the whole congratulatory nine yards. We stopped off and grabbed some delicious and cheap Chinese food, and let Jaxon have some Häagen-Dazs ice cream. He remained quiet and people-watched, only sampling his ice cream, which Preston and I ended up sharing. And the entire time, I was sitting there, looking at my suddenly cherubic child and thinking "Oh, I got him back, I got my sweet sweet baby back. That two-year old monster is banished!"
We strolled back to the Hotel with the intention of hitting a little store in the Lobby that sells Hawaiian shirts and the like... and stumbled upon gold. Ala Moana puts on a live broadcast from the Pakele Lounge each Thursday evening (Click here to check out the feed), and a little local bit of awesome called "The Pacific Blues" was closing the show--amazing. I was awestruck, Preston was awestruck, Jaxon clapped along and howled with delight, bouncing his head and tapping his toes in time... it was magic.
I have yet to find a website for the group, I'll keep you posted. They were too good not to share.
We found an adorable Hawaiian shirt for Jaxon, what with Ukuleles and the sort on it, and it fit, and everyone was delighted and happy and euphoric.
Then we got to the room and the stuff hit the fan. Almost literally. Jaxon started a fever, and we gave him two baths to try to cool him down, Tylenol and head compresses and he was still burning up. And then the screaming started. I would feel bad for our neighbor, but he was apparently enjoying the company of several (squealy) girls--who needed quite a lot of ice, which happens to be dispensed right outside our door.
We debated taking him to the Hospital (how hot is he? Can you tell? Me neither, but he feels hot). Preston finally came to the logical conclusion that a thermometer was needed and headed to the nearest 24-hour WalMart while I sat in bed with Jaxon. Preston no sooner closed the door, and Jaxon decided it was time to commence the vomiting and other nasty unmentionable substance portion of our evening. By the time Preston came back with a thermometer, Jaxon and I both needed to be hosed down with bleach. But the fever had broken, and he was just slightly hot at that point--so we all went to bed. At one in the morning.
And now, he's back to his naughty self. One of the casualties last night was Jaxon's pajama pants--and he was checking himself out in the full-length mirror this morning, saying "no no no" with his hands on his hips (What, kid? I wasn't precisely concerned about matching pajamas last night while you were extruding nasty bits of fluid all over) and he decided some shoes were in order. Maybe just one. Of Daddy's. Better, much better.

And here he is, mid-fit. Screaming for the camera. Isn't he darling?

Your bonus for reading this post in its entirety? Pictures of my yellow sailboat. I've watched it go out each and every morning since we got here, and it magically returns when I'm not watching, only to go out again the next morning. I love it, I want it. It will keep going out each morning, even after we're gone... and that makes me happy.

Expect more pics after the weekend, we're exploring the island starting tomorrow--as long as Jaxon decides to keep his bodily fluids to himself.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


Our first local friend.
We didn't get a chance to ask his name, but he liked the pizza we were having for lunch.
I could have literally reached over and touched him, he was that close.

Postcard from Preston to his Mom:

Day # 3-
Got lost on our way to find a pizza place. Ordered the biggest pizza ever. We have every meal covered for the next two days now. [Preston corrected me, it never said anything about snow, which was the part that I thought was funny--so that basically renders this post null and void and unfunny] We'll be exploring the island on Saturday.
All of us

Monday, September 15, 2008

Its five AM, do you know where your child is?

Awake, and has been since before four. Because he doesn't get that we're on Hawaii time, not Arizona time--and chocolate poptarts are served at all hours of the day at Cafe Mom. I'm sure that everyone on this floor appreciates his quirky sense of humor and a little Spongebob Squarepants this early in the morning. He came with no "quiet" option, I'm sorry guys.

Jaxon's first beach experience. Awed silence.

Still quiet, still taking it all in... we shouldn't have ever left, I think he'd still be standing in this exact position. Preston's legs would be aching like the fury, but Jaxon would be quiet.
And some views from our lanai:

And off I go, to work. And enjoy the sound of the ocean and traffic. Ahhhhh...

Sunday, September 14, 2008

I'm here, we made it.

And nobody threatened to throw Jaxon from an emergency exit on the plane... We're all exhausted and grouchy and it just isn't cool because we're in Hawaii! I got some pics of Jaxon meeting his very first beach and ocean--but I'll have to post them later because all I can think about is brushing my teeth and falling into bed.


Friday, September 12, 2008

T Bird's sense of style

Mr. Tristan David decided that the temptation of his mother's new washer and dryer (front load and stackable, no less!) was too much. He climbed atop his older brother's bike to get a gander at all the whirly-swirly shiny newness (you can see the clothes go round and round? Your Auntie Heather would have been right up on top of that bike with you, T Bird!), and gravity took over, breaking his arm in two places. Handling things with his trademark T Bird panache and flair, he dealt with his ungainly splint for a week. It was dubbed "the club" by his family. Useful? Yes (especially as a hook, for climbing higher on the monkey bars, as his Mom reports). Stylish? Nay.

Then, the week was up. And T-Bird then made everyone in America proud by exercising his right to choose. And choose he did.

...he chose the most fabulous bright pink cast the world has seen (such style, such grace!). And Tara and Willy T get the "Parents of the Year" award for not talking him out of it. You get down with your bad self, Bird. Nobody does it like you.
Thanks to the advice from my personal IT dude, Colin--I am equipped to view, edit and share my home videos from my new vista-fied computer. Okay, let me back up. Colin isn't precisely IT. He's uber-IT, I don't know what he is... except genius. Can I begin to explain what he does? Nay, I don't have nearly as much smartspeak in my vocabulary as would be necessary to explain the enigma that is Colin. And let me nip the inevitable questions in the bud... he's taken, if I am not mistaken (and I'm rhymin!)--by a lovely talented young lady, Amy. So, no--you can't have his number for that purpose. Sorry.
Enjoy a home video showcasing Hendrix's intelligence. On his terms. Like, "Human--say "speak" a dozen times, then I'll think about obeying." I'm so sure he knows that I'm the pack leader. Notice me speaking to him like he's deaf? That's me being calm and assertive.
Hendrix. Proving Cesar Millan wrong every step of the way.

By the way, teaching your dog to "speak" isn't as good of an idea as it seems. Hendrix (who used to be such a quiet dog that Preston and I actually had the discussion of "Can Greyhounds even bark?") now associates "speaking" with "free foodstuffs". And thus, we've learned that Greyhounds do indeed bark.

This post can only mean one thing. The system is still down.

Fuzzy Slipper Friday--the Rant edition

Happy FSF! We will start our FSF with a small rant. A small two-part rant:

1. No food. Uh, hello--I thought I made it perfectly clear that this was a potluck. And yet... no food.

2. No remote connection. Actually, no, that is misleading. There is a remote connection, but it is slllllloooooow--and I strongly dislike taking 10 minutes to enter one claim, which, incongruously, actually seems to cause me and the system to make more mistakes--sorry Joyce. That rant right there is directed to you IT guys out there, the ones that will never read my blog.

Okay then. On to the Fuzzy Slipper portion of FSF.

Ah, here they are at the back door. Because that's where I've been all fooking morning, letting the dog in. And then out. Then in. And out. And in. Maybe out again. Let's try in... no, I want to stay out. It's a sick mind game.

And here are my fuzzy slippers contemplating our orange suitcase. Because because because because... I'M GOING TO HAWAII!!! Whuuuut? I know, and if I were Oprah--ya'll would be going too. Also a car, and a box of chocolate, perhaps some money and perfume.

Preston was ordered to go for work, and decided that he'd take Jaxon and I right along with him. So--we'll be basking in the tropical sun (as opposed to the sun sun) sometime ________, and will be gone for ________________ [this information is now classified for security reasons upon Preston's request.] Except I'll still be working, and Preston will be working, and I'm sure I'll put Jaxon to work too. Kids gotta earn his keep at some point.

And a big "thank you" to those of you who expressed concern for my toe. Toe, foot and leg are all still firmly attached, and the toe remains the only part that has turned color.

That does it for this edition of Fuzzy Slipper Friday. Keep in mind that I may not remember to update as often in HAWAII, because I'll be too busy playing on the beach and reveling in the cooler temperatures and the rain and fruity drinks and macadamia nuts and flipflops.

I must go let the hound in again, and so--goodbye.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Blood Sucking Stinkers

Its all my fault, really. I gave Jaxon a sticker (known as "stinkers" to him) yesterday. And another, after he lost the first. Then he ate the second one. Hours later, I noticed THIS:An attack stinker, and I'm gonna feel pretty bad when it finishes him off.

2,557 days later

September 11 --2 Pictures, Images and Photos

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Fade to Black

So the side of my toe turned black yesterday. Its been hurting in that precise spot for, oh, going on a month or so now--so was I surprised by this sudden change in color? Nah.
I told Preston about my toe, expecting sympathy, a diamond bracelet and some chocolate, and he remembered that, whilst prancing through the family room a few nights ago, I happened upon (literally) a slightly exposed carpet tack. He wondered if the decorative toe was a part of the same foot.
No, of course not. I distinctly remember it being the other foot. Definitely, definitely the other foot.
But my whole leg hurts now, so if I keel over from lockjaw or blood poisoning or cholera or tuberculosis or botulism or gangrene or leprosy any time soon--tell Preston I may not have been 100% on that last part.

This picture doesn't do the purpley-black color justice, I'm almost proud of the ick factor on this one...

Hendrix's verdict?


My name is Heather, and I'm addicted to gigantic bowls of carbolicious sugar that have been dyed a shade of orangey yellow that cannot be found in nature, pressed into squares, and exfoliate the roof of your mouth while you eat. I have been sober 9 1/2 hours, but I feel a relapse coming on.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


So I was up until all hours of the night--hemming Jennifer's pants by hand (which just happened to be freakin POLYESTER wide-leg trousers, mind you), and finally crawled into bed at, oh... the time that it starts to lighten outside, and about half-past the time it starts to lighten outside, Jaxon decided to greet the morning. Actually, it wasn't really Jaxon's idea. It went like this:

(Hendrix yowls, Preston gets up to let him out for a minute and starts to head back to bed, making a pit stop in Jaxon's room to check on him)
P: Heather?
H: Mmmmuuh?
P: Heather, are you awake? Jaxon is smelly.
H: Mmmmmuuh? Mm.
P: Heather? We need to wake him up and change his bottom, can you help me?
(Heather stumbles out of bed, hair askew and pajama shorts pulled up to her underarms. After a torturous search, she finds Jaxon's room--where Preston is gently waking Jaxon from a peaceful slumber, lifting him from his crib and setting him on the changing table)
P: Hey buddy, you stinky? Let Daddy change your bum.
(Heather is grasping the point to this... and grabs a diaper)
H: Hmmurrgh. Diaper...
J: Daddy!
P: Shhhh... it's still nighttime
(Preston removes the diaper from Jaxon's wiggly little bottom)
P: Oh. No, he's not stinky.
H: (Suddenly awake) You do realize that I'm probably going to kill you now.
J: Hungry!

So we fed him a cereal bar, and tried to put him back to bed. He didn't go back to sleep, and neither did we. This is how I've come to have 1/4 of my data entry already done at such an unholy hour of the day.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

...and Panic sets in

I finished the first two books in the Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer too soon--I didn't calculate the dead time in between finishing the last page of the second novel, and the acquisition of the third and fourth novels. The nearest B&N is almost an hour away, and the television is stuck on an Ice Road Truckers marathon. Please help...

Saturday, September 6, 2008

We interrupt your regularly scheduled post for an important announcement.

Due to a lack in general interest and extreme heat, Fuzzy Slipper Friday was cancelled yesterday. We apologize for any inconvenience and will re-establish FSF as soon as plausibly possible we feel like it, but we're not sorry enough to have told you beforehand--we don't want you forgetting your place. Fuzzy Slipper Saturday is out of the question, because we're reading The Twilight Series, and refuse to be bothered.

Thank you,

HOWEVER, feel free to entertain yourself with a picture of Jaxon on the potty. With a diaper on. And the lid down. And crying. But dang it, he wanted to be on that potty. I'm going back to my book...

Monday, September 1, 2008

Labor Day Weekend

So, Preston, with his power of persuasion (coupled with my lack of creativity and constitution) has demanded gently suggested that the pup shall henceforth be known as Hendrix (and I agreed because he was starting to respond to me yelling "Hey dog!"). He even has the name tag to seal the deal, so don't y'all be getting any ideas about puppy snatching, he's wearing our address (and you know that comment is directed to you, dear family, who had the pleasure of meeting said pup this weekend, and I just know that you're scheming to take him from me, but he's mine!)
Besides, you have hermit crabs. And a frog, who I am sorry to report that Preston confesses may be dying of internal injuries even as we speak, because your eldest son squeezed said froggy so hard showing him off to Uncle P--that the frog actually shot frog juice all over the place. Which, if you ask me, is pretty intense (but I think Uncle P was impressed with the distance achieved). And uh, Landy--if you get in trouble after your mother reads this post, I do apologize.
What else did we do this fine Labor Day weekend? Well... we saw:

Chickens (fancy ones!)

Itsy-bitsy, teeny weenie goats

The fattest bunny I've ever seen (and how does a bunny get fat on a carrot diet, wonders I)
The sassiest lady I know

Horrific gigantic-bouncy-induced injuries...

...and miraculous recoveries

... Avery, Tristan, Landon, Auntie Tara, Uncle Willy T, Auntie Erin, Grandma Ann, Uncle Shawn, Chelci, Brent the yard guy (or Erin's man, I'm confused)--and some of his family members!

In other words, we spent Saturday in Snowflake, being insanely jealous that the high there was 83, yes--that's an 8 and a 3--degrees... Fahrenheit I practically needed a parka, and Jaxon was beginning to wonder at what point he was going to be able to build his fist snowman. And yes, all of these things are in Tara and Will's back yard--holy crap, I know! Okay, maybe we went to a Sweet Corn festival... but you'll never know the truth, will you?

We then proceeded to spend Sunday sleeping and Monday looking at one another, wishing we were back in Snowflake.