Saturday, June 27, 2009

Gather 'round!


After months of staring at a tiny, unused mini green and white potty exactly like the one above
a few weeks of fiddling around
one week of serious, getting-down-to-business
and only three accidents;

I am ready to declare that Mr. Jaxon Robert Ruiz is officially, certifiably

Potty Trained!
Today, the potty. Tomorrow, the world.

Friday, June 26, 2009

FSF--The Angela Edition

...because you should always humor a pregnant woman.
Congratulations Ang, Mike and Caleb!!!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Boys will be boys

On occasion, Jaxon enjoys a shower.
By my calculations, that's about half a can of shaving cream divided between my son and the shower walls.
On occasion, Jaxon enjoys a shower with Daddy.
In your eye! That'll teach him.
If they weren't so cute... I don't know what I'd do with them.

On occasion, Jaxon and Daddy enjoy a shower too much.

Monday, June 22, 2009

What say you? Updated.

See?

Why yes, I did spend a ridiculous amount of time on this.
Preston, the gauntlet has been thrown. Feel free to prove your own point.

What say you?

Preston thinks Hendrix looks like that Hyena from the Lion King.
But I see Stitch.
Readers? Weigh in.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Whodunit, a mostly-true story

3 months ago:
Hendrix begins plotting.

2 months ago:
Hendrix begins digging a secret tunnel under his kennel. (Yes, it took him that long to decide to dig).

3 days ago:
Hendrix completes his tunnel complex.

Yesterday:
After the family returns from the gym and eats lunch, they unjustly re-kennel Hendrix for the duration of "nap time". He decides to take matters into his own hands er, paws.
Hendrix quietly slides back the tunnel complex's secret entrance and army-crawls his way to the kitchen, exiting through a concealed opening in the island. Silently, he stalks over to the alarm keypad. After a quick glance to make sure nobody is watching, he supports himself on his back legs so he can nose the silent "holdup" alarm--which nobody even knew existed.
"Help!" he furiously taps out in Morse code, "They do not play fetch with me and there are no more chewies left. I have eaten all the squeakers out of my toys. Send help."
His work done, he dashes back through the island entrance and retreats to his kennel, obscuring all evidence of his escape.

Meanwhile
The family is fast asleep, unaware of the defection occurring just yards away. They are suddenly awakened by the doorbell. Curious, as there are no scheduled visitors today (and that is usually the only sort they have). Father is getting out of bed, grumbling. At that precise moment, Mother spots a suspicious shadow slinking by the bedroom window, followed quickly by another. "Honey," she whispers, "there is somebody in the back yard!"

Back in the kennel
Hendrix's supersonic hound dog ears pick up the vibrations of large wheels on asphalt moments before the doorbell even rings. He tenses, expectant. They have come to rescue him!

In the living room
Sporting his pajamas and a fluffy bed-head hairstyle, Father greets two uniformed Sheriff's Officers at the back door. Seeing that he appears as confused as they are as to why they were called to the house, they come in, ask a few investigatory questions, and proceed through to the front of the house to open the front door, revealing two squad cars, a firetruck and three strapping firefighters.
Mother walks out, squealing in delight. "Why, darling! This is the best early birthday present ever! Did you remember to pick up some ones?" She flits off to Jaxon's room.
Still in a sleepy stupor, Father explains that the family has recently installed an alarm system and it is apparently acting up all on its own. The officers and firefighters accept the story and leave nearly as quickly as they came.
Mother sheepishly shoves a large wad of dollar bills back into Jaxon's piggy bank.

In the kennel
Hendrix's ears droop as he listens to the fading sound of boots on gravel. His would-be rescuers have failed him. He is left alone, chewy-less and with nothing but time on his hands er, paws. He forlornly adds another hatch-mark to the side of the dryer and begins his plotting anew...

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Drama

Have you found yourself wondering why the list of Jaxon's nicknames includes "Drama"?
Well. Let me tell you.

Some of this week's examples (and it's only Thursday!):
During a Doctor's visit over the weekend, we were called in to the triage room to have Jaxon weighed and have his temperature taken (you know, the usual stuff). The nurse politely asked Jaxon to step on the scale. Jaxon replied by gelatinizing himself into a puddle on the floor and screaming "Ouch!!! It HURTS!" I then scooped him up, deposited him on the scale long enough to register his weight, and plopped him in a chair. Jaxon calmed down just in time for the thermometer of DOOM to be introduced to his ear, which apparently hurts so bad that it warranted not one, but two "suckards" [suckers] from another nurse, who in my opinion, is exactly that (a sucker) for giving them to Jaxon in the first place. As soon as the suckers appeared, Jaxon's crocodile tears miraculously disappeared.

Jaxon woke up with a scratch on his ankle the other morning. I asked him what happened to his foot, and he replied (without a second's hesitation) that Hendrix bit him. Never mind that Hendrix hadn't even been out of his kennel yet that morning.
Later the same day, Jaxon's story changed. Hendrix had scratched him.
And by the evening, Hendrix had stabbed him.

He makes my life so much more interesting.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Sorry guys, he didn't come with an "edit" button

We stopped off for a family lunch of pizza Sunday afternoon. After enjoying our meal, Jaxon opted to go to the restroom with Preston while I waited for them at the table. After several minutes, I began to wonder if I should peek my head in the restroom and offer some assistance or advice (Jaxon's curiosity can be downright tenacious). Just as I was really beginning to worry, I heard the unmistakable pitter-patter of excited toddler feet. Jaxon's precious blond head was just rounding the corner when he stopped, eyes shining, and announced loud enough for everyone to hear:
"Mommy, I went pee in the toilet!"
He received many congratulations from our fellow diners and staff.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Happy 17th, and repeat!

This post is a day late, and I apologize.

For those of you who don't know, these are my baby brothers. Shawn (on the left) and Shane (er... right)--or switch that around, I'm not sure. Those are Cheetos stuck in Shawn's ears and the same in Shane's nose--or switch that around, I'm still not sure. Either way, that's just how they roll. This picture is a few years old, but it will always be one of my favorites.

Dear "Bubba" and "Buddy",
I can't believe you two are turning 17. It seems like just yesterday Tara and I were walking to school, excitedly chatting about Mom's newest pregnancy... and how we were sure that this was "the one". As you've probably been told, Nan "predicted" your birth years before you were ever thought of. So, you know, we were forewarned that twin boys were in our future. Sure enough, it was you two. My baby brothers, long waited for after the gaggle of us girls came along... and much doted on. I still remember when you two came home from the hospital. Shane, with your crazy fuzzy noggin... and Shawn, with your serious crew-cut. We worried that we wouldn't be able to tell you apart, but it didn't end up being such a problem after all.
I remember a lot about you two growing up. The bumps, bruises and breaks. Tara and I quickly rubbing lotion on your poor little eczema'd bodies every night in front of the heater while you cried, the t-ball games and finally, baseball... things like that. You two have always been the apples of this family's eyes.
And now you're growing up. Headed toward the last year of High School and many great things beyond.
We're proud of you two, and all the things you've accomplished, and all the things you've yet to accomplish.

Love,
your big (yes big, I don't care how much taller you two get) sister
"Hoho"

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Lonely?

May I suggest:
You can purchase a "Life Size Greyhound crochet pattern" at Aerie Designs Etsy Shop. For the bargain price of $5.00, you can have all the perks of tripping over a big lump of dog, without having to feed him twice a day.
Brilliant!
I seem to have caused some confusion. I should clarify: the above pictures are from the Aerie Designs Etsy website, not my house. As if I were cool enough to crochet a 3-foot-long dog. Also, the $5.00 price tag is for the crochet design, not the actual dog.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Naughty, naughty!


..and he's not even looking apologetic. It could be that he knows if Mom has a camera, she secretly thinks it's funny, but Daddy is going to be upset when he sees that his precious pool table is being defiled.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Big dreams

...little bike
It's gonna be a long ride to the Superbike World Championship, buddy.