Sunday, June 21, 2009

Whodunit, a mostly-true story

3 months ago:
Hendrix begins plotting.

2 months ago:
Hendrix begins digging a secret tunnel under his kennel. (Yes, it took him that long to decide to dig).

3 days ago:
Hendrix completes his tunnel complex.

After the family returns from the gym and eats lunch, they unjustly re-kennel Hendrix for the duration of "nap time". He decides to take matters into his own hands er, paws.
Hendrix quietly slides back the tunnel complex's secret entrance and army-crawls his way to the kitchen, exiting through a concealed opening in the island. Silently, he stalks over to the alarm keypad. After a quick glance to make sure nobody is watching, he supports himself on his back legs so he can nose the silent "holdup" alarm--which nobody even knew existed.
"Help!" he furiously taps out in Morse code, "They do not play fetch with me and there are no more chewies left. I have eaten all the squeakers out of my toys. Send help."
His work done, he dashes back through the island entrance and retreats to his kennel, obscuring all evidence of his escape.

The family is fast asleep, unaware of the defection occurring just yards away. They are suddenly awakened by the doorbell. Curious, as there are no scheduled visitors today (and that is usually the only sort they have). Father is getting out of bed, grumbling. At that precise moment, Mother spots a suspicious shadow slinking by the bedroom window, followed quickly by another. "Honey," she whispers, "there is somebody in the back yard!"

Back in the kennel
Hendrix's supersonic hound dog ears pick up the vibrations of large wheels on asphalt moments before the doorbell even rings. He tenses, expectant. They have come to rescue him!

In the living room
Sporting his pajamas and a fluffy bed-head hairstyle, Father greets two uniformed Sheriff's Officers at the back door. Seeing that he appears as confused as they are as to why they were called to the house, they come in, ask a few investigatory questions, and proceed through to the front of the house to open the front door, revealing two squad cars, a firetruck and three strapping firefighters.
Mother walks out, squealing in delight. "Why, darling! This is the best early birthday present ever! Did you remember to pick up some ones?" She flits off to Jaxon's room.
Still in a sleepy stupor, Father explains that the family has recently installed an alarm system and it is apparently acting up all on its own. The officers and firefighters accept the story and leave nearly as quickly as they came.
Mother sheepishly shoves a large wad of dollar bills back into Jaxon's piggy bank.

In the kennel
Hendrix's ears droop as he listens to the fading sound of boots on gravel. His would-be rescuers have failed him. He is left alone, chewy-less and with nothing but time on his hands er, paws. He forlornly adds another hatch-mark to the side of the dryer and begins his plotting anew...


Jennifer said...

LMBO!!! (laughing my bum off) that''s awesomer than how you told me on the phone... love it!!

Trezise Momma said...

I am still laughing, and hoping, like Jenny, that I can laugh my bum off! If any story can accomplish this feat, it is this one!!

Greg and Janet said...

Oh my goodness, this is so funny! You should publish this, my husband and I were cracking up!

Waiting for Tomorrow said...

That's awesome!! Lol sounds like a very exciting day!